BIG QUESTIONS

Growing up, we lived in a small oil town in central Texas. Our hometown was your typical small town. We had a Dairy Queen, a Sonic, and a Pizza Hut. Friday night football was king. And “downtown” consisted of a street lined with two story buildings built in 1928 that included a bank and a dentist office. On the weekends, we’d sometimes visit friends who owned cattle ranches. As a kid, it was always fun to go out and feed the cows. Their tongues would get my hand all gooey which was super gross, but also super awesome in that little kid kind of way. And then of course there were the three parks in town, not legally segregated [anymore], but still referred to even to this day as the white, black, and Mexican park. Could this place sound more like a country song? If I listened to country music, I’d be able to say one way or the other, but if you do, maybe you can let me know what song represents my childhood here. Either way, you get the picture.

One day, when I was around 2 or 3, my grandpa took me with him to run an errand at the Dollar General just down the street from my house. I only remember a few details here, but one minute he was standing, and the next minute, he was on the ground. The clerk called 911, and they promptly asked my name, address, and phone number. I got at least two of those correct—my name [big score] and my address [double bonus for the win]. They were able to contact my parents and even let me take home a box of Barbie Band-Aids that I’d been holding. But, there was one more thing I took home with me that day—the idea that I had to have all the answers. After all, School House Rock always told me, “Knowledge is power.”

Just like with every lie, there is a little bit of truth mixed in to muddy the waters. Yes, knowledge is a really good thing. Knowledge can protect us—like, knowing that fire is hot or not to jump into a car with strangers. Personal experience on that last one. Sometimes knowledge comes hard won. Sometimes knowledge can help us achieve awesome things—like that new sandwich recipe I found on IG Reels. In fact, the Bible even says in Proverbs 4:5: “Get wisdom, get understanding.”

I’d say then that knowledge is pretty important, but the lie wasn’t that it was good to know some things. No, lies often take what is true and twist and distort it. They blow truth out of the water like a bomb in a lake. The lie was that I had to have ALL the answers. It was knowledge unhinged. Without realizing it, I began to set knowledge up as an idol—the thing that might protect me. Knowledge became a point of pride—the thing that makes me better than someone else. Knowledge even became a part of my sense of identity. I learned to read before I even started kindergarten. I had perfect grades all through school. I won every nerd award you could think of. I even remember a point in middle school when another family got angry with me because I won a scholarship for academic achievement. I worked hard to get ahead in math. I only read books from my library that were marked as 2-3 grades ahead of me. I sat at the dinner table for hours pouring over my homework to make sure every detail was flawless. It also meant I was afraid to ask questions because I didn’t want anyone to know that there was something I actually didn’t know.

Like Atlas, could I hold up the weight of the world on intellect? Could I ever know enough to be successful, safe, and fulfilled? And, what would happen when I didn’t know what to do? What would happen when I ran out of answers?

We all know this great and sometimes scary truth lurking behind the pages of every self help book, every TikTok video, and every late night convo—there really are some things we will never have the answers to.

In the Bible, there’s this story about a guy named Job. I once went on a college tour of Mary-Hardin Baylor. I wanted to study worship and theology, so they let me sit in on an Old Testament Intro Class. The class started, and the professor strolled in. The next few minutes went something like this:

PROFESSOR: I understand we have some prospective students here today. Welcome to class, everyone. Today, we’re studying the book of Job. Can anyone give me a summary of what the book of Job is all about? No? No one? Well, how about this…

The professor proceeded to write in thick white chalk across the entire chalk board “POOP HAPPENS”…except he didn’t write the word poop. Suffice it to say, I decided UMHB’s theology program wasn’t the one for me. And also, I’m not convinced this is the point of the book of Job, even though a little shock value here or there can be fun. Instead, I think the book of Job can be summed up more like, “Wow! Look at God” or “I Can Trust God” or just “God Is Really Awesome”.

See, Job had a terrible time. He loses EVERYTHING—everything he owns, his children die in a freak accident, his health fails, and his wife turns on him. He then spends some time trying to figure out why. After a lot of conversations and questions between Job and his friends, God shows up. In all of his struggle, Job never turned his back on God, but he did ask why…a lot. I would too. Wouldn’t you if you lost it all? But, here was God’s response:

“Who is this that obscures my plans
    with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
    Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
    Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
    or who laid its cornerstone—
while the morning stars sang together
    and all the angels shouted for joy?”

Job 38:2-7, NIV

God goes on like this for chapters and chapters, and Job ends up responding with humility. His answer to all of God’s questions was a big, “Oh yeah. I guess I just don’t know much. But, You do.” Job decided that instead of knowing why, he was just going to trust the God who is bigger than the answers. To every question of why, it is our right as sons and daughters to shrug our shoulders, to give the quintessential I-don’t-know hum. It is true. I don’t have every answer, but I can trust the God who does. For someone like me who can feel desperate for life’s answers, even this can feel like a free fall. I can hear it over the muffled airplane intercoms right now.

“Crrr. Excuse us ladies and gentlemen, but we’d like you to grab hold of your parachutes. We’re going to open the cockpit now and hit the eject button. Brace yourselves, and we hope you don’t splat on impact. Oh, and thanks for flying with us.”

That’s good for Job, but how do I know that I can trust God? He says it in his word over and over and over again, but are words on a page really enough for me? After going on this journey myself, I can promise you two things. One, if you want to trust God, He’ll meet you there. God will help you to trust Him. It might take time, but God doesn’t leave us in free fall. He’s the God of freedom, but not of fear. Second, it might take some work on your part. God is seeking you out. Will you do the same? Start looking for ways that God is faithful. I am a self-proclaimed faithfulness PI. At the end of the day, every day, I write down one way that God was faithful in my life or in the world around me. It could be something small like having a really nice experience I wasn’t planning on having that day, or it could be something big like seeing God answer a miracle prayer. Both have happened since I’ve started my super-faithfulness-sleuthing. This has helped me to see God as all the things that He says He is, but especially as a faithful God. Start looking for ways that God is trustworthy. It may actually be easier than you think.

And here is one final thought for all of the Knowledge Junkies out there just like me. The Bible tells us that “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” In other words, the best piece of knowledge we can ever know is who God is. True as it is that we will never fully know or understand God, there is comfort in the fact that we do know He is good, and that every day, we get to wake up to the great adventure of knowing Him even more. Every day, we get to discover more, better, and more exciting things about God and his nature! He is El Deah, the God of Knowledge (1 Samuel 2), after all!

Find some rest in this fact today:

For every big question we have, there is an even bigger God.